From the recording Why Buy the Cow?
Me and my buddies were drinking one night, with only one goal, to get drunk.
When we were amazed by the turn of a phrase, so we wrote a great song so we thunk.
We got out a recorder and started to sing such a sweet refined harmony.
The next day while sober, we played the tape over, and listened in pained agony.
You only sound good to yourself when you’re drunk, stinking of whiskey or gin.
You only sound good to yourself when you’re drunk, so sit down and shut up my friend.
I was feeling dejected so I went to a bar, but only to have one or two,
When I spotted a lass with a near empty glass and beside her a quite vacant stool.
I downed a few doubles to steady my nerves, then I strolled up to her quite enthused.
That’s when the fun started, I belched and I farted, her scowl said she wasn’t amused.
You might think that you’re clever and that you have never, sounded better than you sound right now.
Please clear me clearly, I love you quite dearly, but you resemble an old, dying cow.